Más | Saph

She didn't know when she woke up. She doesn't remember the last time she had something to eat. She didn't remember the last time she took a piss. Hell, she didn't even remember the exact details of how she left home earlier on in the day, but she definitely knew why she felt the way she feels right now. Those sensations.. numbing your brain and clogging up your emotional and common senses with zero fucks

Around fifteen minutes ago, the girl was still laid out in a random stall of a public bathroom near where she's currently limping away from. She left her bike parked out somewhere close, and even with all the clouds swirling around in her head right now, she did have the wherewithal to actually rationalize that driving would be a really, really bad idea. And so, the only logical thing to do now was to find a place to quench her rising thirst.

It was amazing how she managed to recuperate that fast from pumping foreign substances into her veins, but that just goes to show how used to this she had already become. Still, she had to use the walls to support herself, otherwise she'd probably lose her balance and constantly fall down- and as if the Big Man upstairs wanted to put that theory to the test, Leanna proceeded to trip over an elevated surface after prying the door open to her destination.

Thankfully, the managed to catch herself and land on her hands and knees instead of falling flat on her face. Still, it probably wasn't what one would expect from a girl clad entirely in leather, but there wasn't a lot of people around to notice anyway. As quickly as she tripped, she climbed back up on her feet and waddled over to the bar counter, acting like the entire episode never happened. 

"Hey uh.. gimme uh.. whiskey.. yeah, whiskey.. on the rocks. Not.. normal.. rocks.. y'know.. like.. cold rocks.."

As if it wasn't obvious enough that she was on something.

Much to her surprise- and relief at that, none of the two other beings in this facility questioned her condition. The older (and balder) of the two started working on her order, while the other female, and judging by the looks of it, one of the regulars, started speaking in a weird, yet somewhat familiar accent that unexpectedly triggers memories from that one night in Paris after a show where she fucked up three tall French dudes for threatening to 'destroy her bandmate's ass'. In a way, she should consider it lucky that none of them pressed charges against her, otherwise she would've probably spent a couple nights behind bars in a foreign country.

Keeping true to her introverted nature, the girl barely looked in the French brunette's way, much less respond to her attempt at initiating a friendly conversation. With her attention solely focused on her oncoming beverage, Leanna hardly noticed that the frontal region of her leather jacket was pretty much exposed, revealing the little red butterfly on the upper region of her left breast, alongside a trail of fresh blood still trickling down her torso, courtesy of her previous injection a few minutes before.

When she tried wrapping her fingers around the ice cold glass of whiskey, the former rrockstar found that she couldn't even muster enough strength to lift the glass off the counter. Even as she tried with both hands, the shakiness wouldn't fade away.

The girl gritted her teeth and continued trying, but each time she'd only manage to lift it up an inch before her strength is completely sapped away from her body. What a pathetic display, ain't it?

... Straws.

Oh what a wonderful invention they were! Silently, the girl mumbled a mental prayer for the person who must have been way too lazy to actually pick up a glass and press his lips against the rim to take a sip from it. Within a measly 3 seconds after the brunette knocked down and subsequently introduced one of these plastic utensils into her beverage, Leanna leaned forward, and even through her disoriented vision, managed to catch and wedge the end in her mouth. Needless to say, what followed was probably one of the most satisfying drinks she's had within the week.

This being one of the rare nights where she'd have both booze and drugs to satisfy her addictions, the wombo-combo did its job fairly well, and directly after she finished downing the last bits of her alcoholic beverage, her vision suddenly became that much more blurry and that much more disoriented, and her sense of balance was almost completely gone. Slowly but surely, she felt her consciousness drifting further and further away as her eyelids grew heavier, until each blink felt as though someone was trying to staple her eyes shut. In fact, within a few seconds after finishing that drink, Leanna collapsed down to her left.

Hopefully, someone was able to catch her before she landed with what would be an impactful thud on the ground, but with the only signs of life being the constant twitching in her fingers, it wouldn't take a genius to figure out that she's completely out of it.

Have you ever been in a state where you're seemingly drifting in and out of consciousness, without really knowing which was which? It sort of felt as though she was currently being suspended in limbo and- though she did feel the sharp stinging coldness against the back of her head (what with the leather clothing shielding the rest of her body and all), at the very same time she could have sworn she was seeing visions. Whatever the hell those visions were, she'd probably forget by the time she wakes up, and that still depended on if the Big Man upstairs would even want to give her another surviving chance.

Obviously, this wasn't the first- nor would it be the last time she overdosed. A girl who drowned in the limelight of her adoring admirers, stripped away from the one thing that truly did make her feel alive, you'd bet that she'd try to find a way to recreate those sensations. Try as she might, it was virtually unachievable, even with drugs and booze.

Nothing would ever make her feel the way she felt before. The enthusiasm she had for performing slowly faded away with each passing day. The continuous usage of these foreign substances did not help her physical health either, as she's finding it hard to keep her fingers in check to play the guitar.

Right then, unknowingly laying against an unknown person's back, being carried off to an unknown location for unknown purposes, Leanna started reflecting on her life, her choices, and pretty much all of the decisions she's made so far up to this point in her young age. Of course that's a little hard to do, considering how she wasn't actually.. conscious, per say.

It was a complicated thing to describe, but one thing's for sure: Despite having a pale and weakly appearance, Leanna wasn't exactly the lightest girl in the world.

And a human sized cushion she was, because right now, Leanna still hasn't fully regained her consciousness. Then again, there was literally no way in hell that a person whom had just overdosed would wake up without much aid. Though she wouldn't mind perishing then and there to make things easier, her body had other ideas. For all of the times that she's caused so much physical strain and deterioration via drinking and snorting and pumping things like that into her system, it was only natural that everything comes right back around to smack her in the face, or in this case, her lungs.

As time passed along, the girl grew increasingly restless, and the little bit of consciousness that she had, she found that breathing started getting harder, as if the air tubes in her lungs were slowly shrinking and narrowing. The effects aren't simultaneous, and it actually does take a bit of time before they'd get to the life threatening danger levels. Still, with the both of them laid out like this, it wouldn't be long.

Gradually, Leanna's lips grew a few shades darker, and the usual paleness in her face seemed to be amplified by a tenfold. She still had no idea if she was conscious or not, but even if she was, the breathing difficulty made it nearly impossible for her to speak without struggling. What she needs right now isn't any medicine, what she desperately needs is oxygen. A way to transfer that oxygen into her system- into her lungs, because her body wasn't capable of carrying out that function anymore.

But how?

Of the many times Leanna had overdosed, she could feel each one of them progressively getting worse. Each trip to the hospital was met with more breathing difficulties and more complications than the previous, and it seemed as though she was inching closer to the edge of her own life, just waiting for the final push that would finally end it all.

She had nothing against life itself, or even against the people she's met throughout all these years, good or bad. Although some of the lyrical contents in her songs might show otherwise, she has publicly stated in different interviews that she's a practitioner of peace and love. Music is made to be enjoyed, and it shouldn't really be considered a business, yet no matter where you turn these days, the propaganda, lyrics, videos and pretty much everything else that a supposed 'artist' puts out doesn't seem to be about the music anymore. In fact, some even had the audacity to flash how much money, how many cars and how many women they own.

Coming from a generation of music that spoke to the hearts and souls of millions of teenagers around the globe at the time, it wouldn't take much to fall in love with Leanna and her ex-bandmates and all their crazy personalities. Plus, her being eye candy didn't hinder their growth either. Ultimately, it was the industry who put an end to that run, and it was those reporters, paparazzi and fictional journalists that contributed, and thus solidifying the end of her career.

You know its bad when visions of your life starts flashing before your very eyes.

As time went on, her body grew increasingly fidgety and shaky, and the pale complexion of her face seemed to resemble that of a sparkly fairy from the Twilight movie series. Really though, with all of this, after going through so many of these situations, was it all finally coming to an end? It sure did feel like it, and Leanna was almost certain that it would, up until the point where she felt something.. warm, against her lips. And someone pinching her nose, but that was definitely excusable. 

Almost identical to how Sleeping Beauty awoke after Prince Charming kissed her, except with more grotesque coughing fits, a distinct lack of oxygen in her system and a whole lot of drugs, the pinkette's eyes flared open. She was still struggling to breathe, but it was more because of her being in a shocked state that she couldn't, rather than the whole CPR thing not providing her with sufficient air. Seconds passed and turned into minutes, and with that precious time flowing by, she could feel a searing sensation in her chest, almost as though her heart was telling her 'Oh you done fucked up now!' by trying to make her suffer as much as she made her body suffer over the years.

".. Mm.. Mm.."

An unfamiliar surrounding, and unfamiliar person with their lips enclosed around hers, and this all-too-familiar situation. Why was she being saved? why was her life being treated as something of value by someone else? Certainly it wasn't, and it will never be. All she was is a washed up rockstar who can't move on from the past. All she was and all she is - an insecure little girl who has been to the top of the ladder, before being drop kicked down to rock bottom.

Why.. was she waking up again?

When exactly was the last time Leanna had been this close to someone? Well, considering her current circumstances, it wasn't all that different from her.. normal procedures of earning some fast cash when she really needed it. Still, with her thought process not being entirely stable at the moment, she started wondering if she should charge the girl for the kiss.

"Don't.. die.."

Don't.. die? For a moment there,  she had completely forgotten that she was on the verge of death. Perhaps it was because of the drugs, or maybe because there was a girl on top of her and this was like, the first time she's ever experienced anything like this. In all honesty, she would much rather just give up and die on the spot, but it wouldn't be the greatest thing in the world for the girl whom had tried helping her out.

"Why..?" She asked in return, fighting through the fits of coughing goodness in a weak attempt to project her question. With the tone and the way she presented that one word, it would feel as though she's really trying to find out the answer herself. She had no clue as to why she'd still want to continue living, and no matter how long she sat underneath the showers to think, she couldn't come up with any reason whatsoever to continue on with her life.

But why on earth would a stranger care that much? ... Wait, was she a crazy obsessive stalker-type fan? Probably not, but.. who knows.