Fleeting Memories [Hwan's Past]

Yun Seong had got what he always wanted, or said he always wanted anyways. As a young man who had dreamed of working on the stage of international relations, he did whatever it took to fulfill his dreams, some things less than pure and righteous in nature. He would marry Victoria Raymont, a daughter of an established American emissary who, though at first wasn't pleased to being promised to, eventually came to at the very least respect him and love him in her own way. They would marry rather early, and Victoria would move in with Yun in Seoul, South Korea. In their first year of marriage, they would have their first child Iseul Seong, a quiet boy who proved to be a lesser burden than some children would be. Three years later, they would have yet another boy, Hwan Seong. 

Unlike his brother, Hwan was a loud and uneasily consoled child much to his parents' surprise and more specifically his father's frustration. He cried easily at the smallest shift in status quo including when his father left for work in the mornings. Eventually a nanny was hired simply to try and help with the situation after Victoria had noted she would go crazy if left just to herself. The extra help did prove to at least curb some stress, and as Hwan grew more and passed more milestones, he became easier to appease. Walking came in careful steps followed by active running at the encouragement of Iseul who, though retaining a quiet personality through his years, proved to be an active child in his own way. 

Hwan's earliest actual memories consisted rather consistently of his mother's face and Iseul's. Certainly his busy father's appearance often came and went in such memories, but the man always seemed to be hard to reach: always secluding himself behind whatever closed doors he could find. It was only as he grew older than Hwan would begin to understand exactly what his father did and why be was so busy all the time. In the meantime, he was but a child enjoying the simplicity of life that came with toys and family. When Iseul started school, however, the day was often met with an estranged loneliness on the part of the little brother. He'd often spend most of the day just waiting for Iseul to return home. However, as time went on, even when Hwan was ready to play, it seemed Iseul was too busy studying, and as time went on it seemed their father took more of an interest in Iseul over Hwan, much to the latter's confusion and childish frustration. 

When Hwan was old enough to start school, he was quick to try and get his father's attention. That was why Iseul was special wasn't it? Then Hwan would be special too! However, it seemed not to be the case as time went on. Their father always had eyes on Iseul, and even though it frustrated him a little, at least Hwan had his mother's attention which was an attempt at balance at the very least. While in school, Hwan proved to be much more social than his older brother much to his teacher's surprise. "He's certainly not his brother..." was the remark a few of his teachers gave when asked for a report. Indeed, Hwan made plenty of friends rather quickly, and soon enough a band of four boys that included Hwan became the short term terrors of the school. They enjoyed pranks, games, and the like and had a habit of doing everything together. Hwan was very often their leader by his social default- but this also caused him to get into the most trouble when his teachers caught the group doing less than savory things. At the time, Yun turned a blind eye  to Hwan's actions focusing more on training Iseul to inherit in future years. 

At the age of six, Hwan was encouraged more readily by his mother to pick up some form of musical instrument much like Iseul had before him. While his brother seemed to naturally gravitate towards the cello, however, Hwan didn't know what he wanted to play and spent a good deal of time looking through various instruments and testing them out. The scrutinizing stare of his father when he initially wanted to play the harp caused Hwan to eventually pick up the piano instead- considering it was the basis for other musical instruments as he would reason out when he was older. Thereafter, he was given rather strict private lessons several times a week and was expected to practice and do well on top of study. Hwan did what he could, but forever he remained in Iseul's shadow in one form or another, much to his frustration years later. 

When Hwan was but seven years old, he learned that they were moving in correspondence with his father's work. He begged and pleaded to stay considering he had friends at home and couldn't imagine another place, but his desires went mostly unheard. Thus in the upcoming months, Hwan was forced to pack what belongings he had, say good-bye to his friends, and follow his family to Japan where his father would be working from thereafter.  Entering a new school was difficult for Hwan. Though the curriculum was not too difficult save for a new focus on Japanese instead of the Korean he was used to, it was the social matter that had thrown him off. Most of the kids already had established cliques already, and making friends was harder than it had been before. In time, things would smooth over, but the stress of not being able to fluidly transition would draw Hwan closer to Iseul who didn't seem to protest at the very least of it all. They were brothers after all. 

Hwan did manage to make a few friends as time went on, and slowly with his confidence rebuilt, he came out of his shell more. His grades were decent enough, and many found him a bit of a prankster but an overall decent young kid at the very least. However, there were always some expectations that never seemed to be met. His father would compare his grades to his brother's, and while both boys did well, Iseul always did better. Hwan often grew frustrated during this time going so far as to verbally lash out in response to his father's more subtle critiques. Nothing seemed to be enough, and that frustrated Hwan to no end. His father would retaliate with the words "study harder and maybe you'll be as good as your brother". However, even as he studied as hard as he could, even as he practiced the piano as much as he could, Hwan was never good enough. It angered him. 

When he went into middle school, Hwan joined the baseball team adding to his busy schedule but surprisingly glimmering in something his brother wasn't interested in or at least didn't reach for. It came to light soon after that he seemed to have a natural talent for hitting things, and for the first time, Yun seemed legitimately pleased with Hwan. The boy had never been happier. It was when his team won a rather nice championship game that Yun ave Hwan a set of old classic Japanese money saying that he had "earned it". It seemed the old man was a fan of collecting such things, and all too quickly in a sort of manic moment, Hwan became obsessed with it as well. He wanted to be like his father, wanted to shine in the light that Iseul shimmered in for so long. He'd do anything to retain that. 

However, that year, Iseul scored the highest on one of the standardized tests- higher than what some said were years. Again Yun's attention turned strictly to the elder child, and Hwan was left in the dust. The younger brother had never known such frustration. He lashed out again, much to his father's frustration and his mother's panic, and it was shortly after that he made plans to run away from home. He would go back to Seoul, back where his friends were, and far away from his parents. He didn't care how he would get there, he just wanted to. However, just as he was preparing to leave, Hwan was stopped by none other than Iseul. The brothers had a rather bad conflict after that, yet what it came down to was Hwan eventually breaking down and being angry at Iseul who took his brother's anger and apologized. Hwan would never realize how mature Iseul was being, nor how much he had hurt his older brother for his words. 

A year passed, but just as things began to settle again, the family would suddenly begin moving sporadically for four solid years as it seemed tensions in various countries drew not just Yun but his entire family into the movements once again. Hwan protested heavily becoming more than irritable that he constantly had to pack up and move around. However, there was no arguing with his father nor did his mother have any way to stop things. They lived in Korea again for a while and then in the United States for some time moving here and there wherever Yun was needed. During this time, Hwan collected more coins and more forms of money- anything he could get his hands on, though why he did so then was even questionable to Hwan.

Eventually they made their way back to Japan where it seemed they would settle down again finally. Hwan was sixteen and finding himself back in yet another new school while Iseul was in college by then. A year passed, and Hwan did well in school and still maintained some popularity with picking up baseball wherever he went. However, the following year, scandal would hit. Iseul would be shot during a family outing at a local shrine (that Victoria would insist was her fault that they were there days later) wherein the sniper had supposedly been aiming for Yun but hit Iseul instead. Hwan remembers little of it now save for when his head turned at the sound of a gun firing and he caught sight of his brother's body hitting the ground. There was too much blood, and he probably would have been shot as well standing and gawking in shock had his mother not reacted quickly enough and seized his arm to drag him into hiding to stay low before help could arrive. The police did arrive later, and questions were asked by the scores, but Hwan remembered little of what was asked- only that he kept repeating Iseul's name. 

In the weeks after that, Hwan was caught between manic disbelief and depression. Though he had been jealous of Iseul, that had still been his older brother, and now he could no longer reach him. He cried often, sometimes even in the middle of class much to his teacher's startled disdain. There seemed to be no one to comfort him well enough, but it was his father's snipping remarks that he had to be a man and grow a back bone that would eventually cause Hwan to cut his emotions off. He hid what he felt, locked it under a different attitude that was easier for most people including his father to accept, and went on.

However, this premature striation of emotion would leave a lot of twists in Hwan's personality as time went on. He became more broken inside and more sulfurous outside even becoming more rebellious going so far as to dye his hair and start dating exponentially much to his father's headache. However, even then the man seemed to take little interest in him- as if Iseul had never died in the first place. Hwan had never been so hurt but never knew how to do anything about it. In the end, he began to wish he could just disappear, hide away. It was Iseul's face that his father was searching for not his own so why even show up? It was one night during a rather heavy amount of depression that Hwan literally did disappear becoming then aware that he had a Gift- something he could use, though at the price of his emotions, it seemed. That was fine, no one cared what he felt anyways, right?